Journal

The Undoing: 2017 Reflection

Photo Credit: Joanna Keilson

Photo Credit: Joanna Keilson

Last December I stated that this year will be a year of undoing and doing by a means of faith and writing and with much reflection this year has been beautifully and painfully, exactly, that.

Through my writing, I have undone much fear and at the same time, many treasured comforts that have kept new horizons at bay. In my faith, God has used many of mistakes and failures to undo faulty thinking patterns, undone my constant need to get it all right, undone several habits and sins that have easily beset me and much more. God has shown me His love for me in ways I never could have imagined, he’s brought me out of strongholds and belted his truth around my waist.

Honestly, much of what has been done and undone is beyond explication. It has been an excruciating process, yet in all, my heart beats in joy. Even in the struggles and heavy pain, God was in that place with me, and truly it took losing nearly everything to see His greatness and my failure in clarity. I can even say, in honesty that, in the last couple months of this year, within my refining fire furnace, I have smiled so much more and felt so much joy than the year in total. And that simple thing alone excites me for what is to come. 

Although much of this year has been of loss, I did have several blessings and moments that I will cherish for years to come. I completed graduate school, completed a thesis, and had several poems published. I began and am working on my manuscript in which I hope to have published, if God willing, sometime in this coming year.  

ICYMI: Check out these poems that I have been graced to have published this year: 

The Building With the Scaffolding (The Rising Phoenix Review, November 30, 2017) 

Our Crooked Teeth (The Rising Phoenix Review, November 20, 2017)

The Lazarus Inside (The Rising Phoenix Review, November 7, 2017)

Making Boardwalks Out of Borders (The Deaf Poets Society, Issue 5, 2017)

At First, It Was Just a Game (Downtown Brooklyn, Issue 26, 2017)

If I Die Tomorrow [W/ Daniel Vidal Soto] (Visceral Brooklyn, Issue 3.2, 2017)

 

Photo Credit: Joanna Keilson 

Photo Credit: Joanna Keilson 

As the saying goes, I lost and I loved. If 8 is symbolic of new beginnings, 2018 will certainly be a new beginning for me in more ways that I can express. I know that the act of undoing will continue on into this coming year because to undo and do is the cycle of life and is a necessity of my heart to be continually undone by God’s amazing grace, the process of sanctification, continual repentance, and the blade and shears of his living word.

As the year undoes itself in the night, I have prayed, declared and decreed that 2018 will not just simply be new beginnings but that, it will be a year of awakening.  2018 will be a year of spiritual awakening, gift awakening, vision awakening, mind awakening, and much more. It is my declaration that everything that was closed off, unknown, buried, asleep, unrevealed to me in twenty-seventeen will be awakened to me in this coming year. So here's to new beginnings in writing, love, friendships, relationships, spirituality, and every facet of my personhood and life.